Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
its liver damage thursday
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
