A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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