she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
