all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
