Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
