I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
