i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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