I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
