I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
