his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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