pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
