honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
there is glitter all over my balls
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize