im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
