My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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