Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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