Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just forgot I was standing up.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
