We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
