I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
