found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
