And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
