Dual....:-)
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
