like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize