oh god the rape fog is back!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i believe in u and ur pee
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