Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
