My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
soo... how was my night?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
