i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
