god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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