if i can run in heels then i can drive
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
