I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize
