theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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