hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So vagazzling was a success
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
