Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
