I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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