i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
