i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
