nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
