seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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