I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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