Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
