the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
