she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
