so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
