you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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