Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
