so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
