yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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