chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
