I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
