I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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