Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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