yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
