The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
