The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I didn't notice because vodka
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
