I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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