went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
