bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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