If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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