You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
