She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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