Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize