omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
