VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
