Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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