i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
