great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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